Every time you say “You’re not fat, you’re pretty” you are implying that I can’t be both.
You are saying there is something wrong with being fat.
I’m fat, and I’m down with that and you will not ignore my body because it makes you uncomfortable.
Fat positivity does not equal body dysmorphia. I’m not fishing for compliments. If I call myself fat in any context, it is not self-hating or deprecating. Please do not mess with my (or anyone’s) empowerment because you’re sorely mistaken.
My grief taught me things. It showed me shades and hues I couldn’t have otherwise seen. It required me to suffer. It compelled me to reach.
So it’s 80 degrees in NYC and the sun is setting and I am not at a Memorial Day barbeque but instead I am reading the end of this book Tiny Beautiful Things because I am in a weird mood. I stumbled upon this piece about grief, which I’ve been feeling a lot of this weekend, thinking about how it has been 6 months since Roxy passed away. I came across one line I had to read over and over: “My grief is tremendous but my love is bigger.”
I don’t know what else to say at the moment but I urge you all to check Strayed’s writing out if you’ve experienced sudden and inexplicable loss at any point. You will feel stronger and be better for it.
To the mainstream media, the fashion industry, internet bullies, and anyone else who thinks it’s their right to try to make us feel less than because of their insecurities. Fuck you. #everyBODYisflawless #fatisnotaflaw. Love, Gabifresh, Tess Munster, and NadiaAboulhosn <3 To see more, check my blog post!
I find this to be incredibly empowering. Thanks Gabi, Tess, and Nadia - I’m really glad to know you on and offline.
It’s Tuesday. I am still “at work,” that is to say, doing my job promoting independent music to college radio (from home). I finally watched Sylvan Esso’s video for “Play It Right” and had to stop everything for a sec to tell you about it. This song has been my favorite since the moment their record landed in my inbox… actually, since the A&R team at Partisan played it in our office last year and everyone freaked the fuck out.
The band is an amalgamation of Megafaun and Mountain Man members, and my roommates probably hate me for the cumulative spins I’ve given Mountain Man in the past several years. That’s all over, because Amelia has risen like a glittery synthed-out phoenix and her pipes are bursting with triumph.
Sylvan Esso’s self-titled LP comes out on 5/13 (my birthday) via Partisan Records. <3
- fav. golden sweater: thrifted at Holy Redeemer in Hatboro, PA
- beaded evening gown top: thrifted (same as above)
- black denim shorts: forever 21
- black polka dot tights: target
- Dr. Martens 1460 patent red leather boots
- spoon rings: from etsy shop charmparfait
- liquid eyeliner in blackest black + plum perfect lipstick: Maybelline
Photography by Natalie Hotaling.
Name: Laura Ragsdale aka Laura Lane
Location: Western Pennsylvania / soon relocating to Philadelphia suburbs
Occupation: I’m the college radio Music Director of WIUP and the creator/writer of Unclaimed Baggage Music Blog.
What informs/inspires your style? That actually dates back to my childhood e.g. hours spent leafing through my dad’s film stills/original print collection of old Hollywood and 50’s pin up. From the ultimate glamour mistress Marilyn Monroe to the bombshells of Bettie Page and Jayne Mansfield- I was and still am seduced by style that’s a mix of classic sophistication and the sultry mystery.
Postmortem inspirations aside, I like lots and lots of anything red, velvet, or sparkly.
All time number one favorite thing to wear: Hands down, my power house cardigan- the glittery gold one. I discovered it at a thrift store during my high school days and it’s been riding on my shoulders ever since. On the back, I sewed a large patch of the High Priestess, my favorite tarot card. I like to think her presence goes beyond just having my literal back… She embodies the idea of a strong feminine figure- she represents relying on your intuition, trusting your instincts, singing along to the tune of your gut. Knowing you have potential to do great things.
What’s something you’ve been thinking about a lot lately?: Uh, the future. In the next few weeks, I’ll be packing my life up and out the apartment I’ve lived in for the last three years now for college. I’m heading into a new chapter of my life, including moving into a completely new house I’ve never even seen before. I’ll be staying at my mom’s for the summer and she just moved into a new place. So it’s actually kinda cool that I’ll have a new room to decorate and make completely my own, start fresh.
Also I’ve made some goals for this summer so far like making hot sauce from scratch, starting up a radio show podcast, publishing a new issue of my zine series Staircase Wit… I like having ongoing projects.
Current non-fashion obsession: Spending quality time with my new iPod. It’s a white classic and I got an engraving on the back that reads “All songs should be either fast or sad.” It’s a loosely-quoted phrase from this music memoir called Love is a Mixtape by Rob Sheffield. I have bad iPod luck like other people have bad car luck. I’ve been through like 5 in my lifetime (mostly because of shitty situations, and others uh, my bad?). For the majority of this semester, I was iPodless and it sucked really bad. I don’t like having a long-distance relationship with music.
What helps you feel confident about your body/style/general sense of self?: Wearing my D.I.Y-ness on my sleeve, literally. I’m guilty of stitching, patching, craftifying the hell outta my wardrobe. Most days, I wear the earrings I’ve made. I think they carry good joojoo since they remind me of times I’ve been creative. One is a message in a bottle with inside it a blue crystal and broken butterfly wing that I found dead in the street. [By the way, they are super easy to make. You can find the tiny cork, miniature bottle, and earring wire at most craft stores. Try it!] And the other is a post I made with one of my actual baby teeth…. And I identify with the color red. The color of blood, stop signs. Red hair and red lipstick has become my sort of trademark simply because I chose it to be. You are the one in charge of reinventing or creating yourself, so you should do whatever you want. You’re the one in control of how you feel about your self-worth; so don’t let people mess with you. Keeping that in mind gives me confidence.
What’s it mean to be a broad?: Being a broad for me means self-reliance is the best reliance. It’s about your attitude and the way you approach life. Being true-blue to yourself and opening yourself up to the healing power of femmerody.
But I also really like and stand by a definition of a Broad from Broads + Narrows: A Thinking Wo/Man’s Dictionary by Dusty Bunker - a book a pen pal sent me years ago:
Broads: Slang for women. Broad across the hips. Also their mentality.
Roxy-inspired cool-girls-being-cool character by Lisa Hanawalt. Happy Birthday, Rox - I know you’d be wearing the banana skirt. There’s always money in the banana stand. ;)
Women are coerced into hair removal, indoctrinated by society to see it as a necessity. They are making decisions as to what type of razor they use, whether they use cream or wax, whether they get a professional to do it, but these are secondary decisions; the initial choice is whether to remove hair at all, and this decision was made by someone else, long ago, with little thought as to our best intentions. Along with the decisions about whether body hair is attractive, or hygienic. Of course, we all have personal preference, but when every channel in society tells you that body hair is repulsive, there is only one conclusion to come to. It is near-impossible to have a true preference. And until women are no longer chastised, mocked, and insulted for their body hair, we cannot say that we have that choice.
Do you go to Muhlenberg College? Or to school in the Lehigh Valley? If you’d like to come say hi I will be there Friday March 28 from 9:30-2 for Media & Communication Alumni Week. Let’s talk about post-grad vibes, the (indie) music industry, college radio, how expensive New York really is, patriarchy smashing, etc.